I Love Mail Like This:

From “Jim V” (jcven@hotsheet.com):

I cannot resist commenting on a ‘blog’ page of your creation… one titled :
D r. M e n l o presents:

My main comment is that unless a person is on drugs, your blog makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. As I scanned through the pages… and I stress ‘scanned’, I found no redeeming value to your rants and raves. To me your page bears testimony that you obviously are a communist, and a Godless anarchist… believe me it shows… You must be a sad pathetic person, unloved and misunderstood to feel that you need to express yourself like you do…. Take a piece of advice, grow up… I pity your parents


Dept. of Visionaries

When I become president (at least of a fiction novel), I will create and set up a new department: the Department of Visionaries.

So, I was watching the Democratic Convention tonite when I came up with this: how soon until the politiks hire the writers of sci-fi? Ron Reagan talks about becoming diagnosed with Parkinsons, getting some cells taken out of your arm, and then getting a cure. “The future of science,” he declared.

I don’t remember what it was that Theresa Heinz said that got me into a futuristic mood–perhaps it was her mastery of 5 languages, perhaps it was her life on another continent before being transplanted here, or maybe it was her early recollections of the birth of the civil rights movement in Africa and the subsequent jailing of Nelson Mandela (whom Dick “Go Fuck Yourself” Cheney voted against releasing from prison, which is indefensible, and one of the many questions I would like to see him asked by Edwards or anybody coming up).

But when watching Heinz and her langorous, sexily-exotic lilt, I suddenly imagined her talking about bridges of light . . . or somesuch.

Maybe it was all their talk of the future–I was craving the images to back that up, and who better to do that than our present day visionaries–also known as sci-fi writers?

So I imagined a Department of Visionaries, but immediately knew there would have to be some ground rules set up: number one, these visions will be based on imagination and science.

For it wasn’t the snakecharmer that invented air conditioning. And it wasn’t the anti-medicine sect that created the plane. And it wasn’t the bare-breasted-statue-covering-up-cult that gave us the Enlightenment.

When is it going to be politically feasible to get up in front of the American people and say that you don’t base your cosmology on ancient myths? I was thinking I would run for office if only to be the first politician who didn’t end every speech with “God Bless America.” If there is a God–which I doubt–why would he (he?) only Bless America? (As many others have rightfully pointed out?) “Our God has blessed us to drive SUVs and eat at Cow-Corpse King so starve and walk ya third world unblessed chumps!”

But back to the Department . . . who would be the architect? Perhaps the designer of this?:

Who would head it? Him?:

Who would populate it? Him?:


And her?:

[for we need the poets, too!]

In the Department of Visionaries, everyone knows that religion is a metaphor–thus not based solely on fact. In the Department of Visionaries, there is only one race: the human race, and the betterment of everyone is widely understood to be beneficial for us all.


Unify, coalesce and organize.

Inspire, create and enjoy.

Friends, Americans, Earthlings . . .

I’m Dr. Menlo, and I approve of this message.

Eris Bless You . . .

And Eris Bless Everyone!

It’s I*A*M, Baby!

Me–Dr. Menlo–am participating in NaNoWriMo this year. To kick myself in the ass you see. Am an old fuck now, getting on in dog years. Need to write more, even if it’s crap. Well, this is all a fast draft, of course. A first draft. Written fast. In a month. A novel. Never written before. I’ve written about International Art Machine before, but never this, as an adventure novel. Half baked. Schmoozing in the adventure section. Art is the artifice, but also the trojan horse. Or something like that . . . we’ll see.

It’s I*A*M , Baby!

This is my marathon. P. Menlo.

(Pagan Moss is also participating, having recently closed up PSS, but her link isn’t ready yet.)

dr. menlo’s revolution radio

(no folk music.)

Newly added to the mix: the new Beastie Boys anti-Bush/war tune “In A World Gone Mad,” Erykah Badu, Howard Zinn, Bob Marley, some hardcore drum & bass from Adam F., Alexander Cockburn, 3 from Louis Armstrong–“We Shall Overcome,” John Lennon’s “Give Peace A Chance” and “It’s A Wonderful World” with a spoken word intro that addresses legitimate criticism of such a worldview, Gil Scott Heron, Public Enemy and much, much more! Plus more to come as well! Including short pieces from one of my favorite satirists: Terry Southern. I think you have to register to listen but it is free, just click off a popup if it occurs! Always feel free to write to me if you have any ideas, criticisms, etc. . . . this is, of course, still a work in progress . . . happy listenin’!

US Announces New Ally: Harvey

March 13, 2003 – THE WHITE HOUSE – Today Colin Powell announced a powerful new US ally in the war on Iraq: Harvey. “He’s big, he’s mean, and he’s invisible.” Colin Powell told reporters. “This kind of ally can do significant damage over there.”

Colin Powell then told the reporters that they could ask Harvey questions, but since Powell was the only one who could hear Harvey, he would have to translate Harvey’s responses.

Helen Thomas raised her hand and was immediately escorted to the hallway (“for her own protection”). Colin Powell, after consulting his list, called on Jerry Braun from the AP. Jerry asked, “Harvey, which do you prefer, french fries or freedom fries?”

The room laughs. Colin laughs, too, then nods as he listens to Harvey’s response before saying, “Freedom fries, of course. With lots of ketchup.”

The White House press corp laughs harder. Some wipe tears from their eyes.

Colin looks at the list again and then calls on Mary Watanabe from the Duluth Herald. “Harvey, as we all know, Saddam Hussein is hoarding enough weapons of mass destruction to turn our beautiful big earth into nothing but a radioactive desert for millenia to come. So, even though you are aided by the heroic beyond-all-ability-to-describe US military, aren’t you at all concerned for your safety?”

Colin bows his head slightly while he listens, this time his brow furrowing. “Yes, great question. Well, I love this country, enough to die for it. And I love the innocent civilians of Iraq, as well. That’s why I’m willing to die to liberate them as well from the murderous dictator known as Saddam Hussein. So, there you go.”

Colin raises his head and calls on another reporter from his list.

Joe Coleman from CNN asks: “Harvey, since you’re invisible, will you be sent on a mission which can best utilize this ability? Namely, the assassination of Saddam Hussein? And I have a followup question.”

Colin listens for a minute and then responds, “I can’t talk at all about my missions right now, Joe. Let’s just say that whatever I do, I do it for freedom, I do it for America, and I do it for God.” Colin pauses and then asks for the followup question.

Joe: “If you’re back by Easter could you come over to my house for my little daughter’s Easter party? Perhaps we could paint your fur so that you could be seen–you’d make so many kids very happy.”

Colin listens then, “I’d love to, Joe. Right after the Hero’s Welcome Parade. The only thing I look forward to more than seeing newly liberated Iraqis jumping up and down in the street for joy because now they are free to develop their own democracy–after envying ours for so many years–is coming home to a Hero’s Welcome here in America. Especially the parade in New York city to welcome us back with love, cheers and thousands of patriotic streamers!”

Colin then calls on Mimi Applegate from USA TODAY. Mimi: “Harvey, I don’t have a question but a comment: WE LOVE YOU HARVEY!!!” The room cheers. [Coincidentally, this became the headline on the next day’s issue of USA TODAY.] Russell Mokhiber raises his hand to ask a question and is immediately escorted out into the hallway (“for his own protection”).

Colin thanks everyone for coming and relays to them Harvey’s last words: “God Bless you, and God Bless America!” before closing the press conference by leading the White House press corp in a rousing recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. Many wipe tears from their eyes. The end.