Can That Asshole Answer One Question?

OK, you ask me a question and I’ll pretend I’m Bush:


You: Mr. President, can you ever admit to making any mistakes?

Me as the President: Saddam Hussein was a bad man. A real evildoer. And we’re about freedom. Terrorists don’t like freedom. Freedom makes terrorists feel all sick inside, like they got the flu and the mumps combined. That’s why we need the Patriot Act. For the freedom of all Americans and the world. We don’t want to feel like we got the mumps and flu, either. Nobody wants that. Especially the people that Saddam Hussein gassed–his own people. When I wake up in the morning the first thing I think about is freedom. And then I think about Fruit Loops. But freedom, first. Freedom always comes first. Even before Fruit Loops.

We just happened to watch the “press conference” on CBS, so Dan Rather comes on after with his assessment: “The President was steady and confident.”

Nice blowjob, Dan. What the President was was forthcoming only on his stupidity and ability to repeat several key phrases, as the last questioner aptly pointed out. Most chilling moment: when Bush mentions the “All-mighty.”

But the President is right about one thing: the American people can vote him out this Fall . . . unless, of course, they’re using the GOP-controlled Diebold machines to vote. Then they’ve got no choice at all.