Dept. of Visionaries

When I become president (at least of a fiction novel), I will create and set up a new department: the Department of Visionaries.

So, I was watching the Democratic Convention tonite when I came up with this: how soon until the politiks hire the writers of sci-fi? Ron Reagan talks about becoming diagnosed with Parkinsons, getting some cells taken out of your arm, and then getting a cure. “The future of science,” he declared.

I don’t remember what it was that Theresa Heinz said that got me into a futuristic mood–perhaps it was her mastery of 5 languages, perhaps it was her life on another continent before being transplanted here, or maybe it was her early recollections of the birth of the civil rights movement in Africa and the subsequent jailing of Nelson Mandela (whom Dick “Go Fuck Yourself” Cheney voted against releasing from prison, which is indefensible, and one of the many questions I would like to see him asked by Edwards or anybody coming up).

But when watching Heinz and her langorous, sexily-exotic lilt, I suddenly imagined her talking about bridges of light . . . or somesuch.

Maybe it was all their talk of the future–I was craving the images to back that up, and who better to do that than our present day visionaries–also known as sci-fi writers?

So I imagined a Department of Visionaries, but immediately knew there would have to be some ground rules set up: number one, these visions will be based on imagination and science.

For it wasn’t the snakecharmer that invented air conditioning. And it wasn’t the anti-medicine sect that created the plane. And it wasn’t the bare-breasted-statue-covering-up-cult that gave us the Enlightenment.

When is it going to be politically feasible to get up in front of the American people and say that you don’t base your cosmology on ancient myths? I was thinking I would run for office if only to be the first politician who didn’t end every speech with “God Bless America.” If there is a God–which I doubt–why would he (he?) only Bless America? (As many others have rightfully pointed out?) “Our God has blessed us to drive SUVs and eat at Cow-Corpse King so starve and walk ya third world unblessed chumps!”

But back to the Department . . . who would be the architect? Perhaps the designer of this?:

Who would head it? Him?:

Who would populate it? Him?:


And her?:

[for we need the poets, too!]

In the Department of Visionaries, everyone knows that religion is a metaphor–thus not based solely on fact. In the Department of Visionaries, there is only one race: the human race, and the betterment of everyone is widely understood to be beneficial for us all.


Unify, coalesce and organize.

Inspire, create and enjoy.

Friends, Americans, Earthlings . . .

I’m Dr. Menlo, and I approve of this message.

Eris Bless You . . .

And Eris Bless Everyone!